Indecisive.

Some days I sit at home and loathe in self pity. Other days I step up to my faults and mistakes and ignore everything that they're supposed to stand for. I don't want to think about what might have been, what could have been; it is not, and never will be. I wish everyday I had that rejuvenating feeling of me finally understanding, coming to terms. Unfortunately I cannot promise myself that everlasting feeling of completion and acceptance. Some days are simply better than others.

I am happy to be me, happy that I've learned all of the things that life has chosen to teach me. I am happy that overall I have a very positive outlook on life and what it has to offer. I am happy, In general, but I often wonder 'Could I be happier?'. I'm sure I could be, and I'm sure one day I will be.


I need experience and real life decisions to help me become the person I aspire to be.

I am sitting here on my bed at 11:16am wondering why I wasn't meant to be somewhere else. Why was I meant to be sitting here wishing for something and someone who is never coming back? Is there a higher being who wants me to feel astray today, in hopes of a better me tomorrow? I wish my thoughts had a filter, only the thoughts that lead me to a peak of happiness and no delusions were the ones allowed to enter the filter.

If I could go back in time and fix what I damaged, I would. Unfortunately for me, there are more important things in his life than I ever was or ever could be.

The lack of communication and unfortunate disbelief has begun to make me wonder if I'll ever feel this way again.

Some things are left unnoticed, I am simply left.