Despair

How am I living life day by day knowing that I want someone else there with me? How do I wake up each morning wanting more and feeling incomplete?

I am 21 years old, I have experienced a lot of things, but of course not as many as I'd like to. I've experienced Love, Hatred, Despair and many, many other confusing and rewarding feelings. But what happens when all of those feelings are gone and you are only left with regret? What happens when Love and Hate have diminished, and all that is left is sadness? What am I to do when I wake up in the wee hours of the chilled morning and wish that someone I truly Loved was there beside me to keep me warm.

I am not ashamed to express my feelings, how I feel makes me who I am. I am sad, and I am lonely and I am extremely regretful of some of my past. I miss the way that I felt, I haven't felt that since and I don't know if I ever will. I don't know how to give myself to someone the way that I gave myself to him.

The saddest thing is that he doesn't acknowledge the fact that I am desperate for him. I just want him to see me, and understand me. To respond back to me and Love me. I know it's pathetic, I know it's low and it won't make him realize that there is someone out there who loves him, and loved him before any of this. But I still wish for it, so badly.

I want to be happy, and he is my happiness.